I am a 37 yr old married mother of 2. My son is 17 and my Dtr 12. My addictive life began when I was 11, stealing from my friend's dad's bottle of whiskey..I remember loving the feeling it gave me of numbness..several things happened in my life during my teens which intensified my addiction. I found weed and speed and anything narcotic in anyone's medicine cabinet. I was put in rehab. at age 15 and that was of no help at all. I got out and that day went to party with friends. I had however learned many new ways to hide my use. I have managed to conceal my use for the last 25 years..oh the results of my use were apparent..mood swings,anger,lost jobs,memory loss,disorganization,financial struggles,and marital problems..it's just that no one knew that it was all because I was using. I moved my family 5 times in 3 years trying to find a geographic cure for the manic way I felt inside. I worked as a nurse which was helpful in getting my supply easily..for the last 12 years of my marriage my husband has not known what was wrong with me..why I couldn't be happy and content anywhere. Well it's because I am an addict. I'm addicted to alcohol,drugs,shopping,spending,sex,and my husband.
I was forced into treatment on 2/1/08 after attempting suicide with benzos. I have been struggling to stay clean since. I have already picked up once after having 39 days clean and am now back to day 23.
update 4/21/08-I can't seem to get this going, my slip started 10 days ago. Well I guess you would just consider it drinking again now.
update 5/2/08 I have 10 days sobriety today!!!
I joined the site because I still work as a nurse but to avoid temptation to divert meds and because I have seizures r/t Lyme disease and PTSD I work telephonically from home. It is lonely,isolating,and very boring. All the things that make me want a substance to take away those feelings..so I hope to make some friends that I can talk to and share experiences with to get me through the tough times.
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I like music of all kinds(except classical),scrapbooking,photography,painting,and comedy shows.
haven't talked to you in a veyr long time. hope all is well. are you still onlines. I've not been able to come on in a very long time. please...give me a call. I really miss talking to you. God Bless and take care!!!!! el
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecutions, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, for thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter [Psalms 44:22]. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.--Paul [Romans 8:39]
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