serenity is a fabulous thing. Being right is short lived and brittle-(in my experence)...It took me so long to clear my head and attain any serenity. Plus sleep is a wonderful

thing unless you have a lot of vivid dreams-cheers, Nia

I understand how you feel, but I have no answers or advice.  Sometimes people just don't realize the impact of thier actions.  I can include myself in that group too.  i have done things not realizing that I had stepped over a boundary.  Hang in there!

Then there's the resentments - how dare he ask? I guess I'm a bit different, a different question - how much difference in your life will having an extra child there? How much diffenence might it make in that child's life. Did the cousin ask the dad to call? Me - I guess I'd opt for the happy. Less complicated for today.
Dennis

i can see your frustration. when i read this my first reaction was probably somewhat the same as yours " what the heck???". but this is one of those things where we have to ask ourselves . have i set my bounderies here? and if we have then its up to us to stick to those bounderies. in the hopes that others will respect that.

on the other side of the coin. the big book has a story that says i have to discard my"rights" as well as my expectations, by asking myself how important is it anyway. how important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety? that if i place more value on my serenity, i can maintain it at a higher level. at least for the time being.

so even though this man oversteped your boundaries. can we speak with him and show fogiveness. how much is it worth, surely not a good nights sleep. i surely doubt he's losing any sleep over it.

i'm not saying this is what you should do.but i was just trying to put myself in that position. i hope all goes well.love ya.

hugsbilly

That's a toughie... However, I don't think it's a question of being "right" or "happy". Was he rude about it? Did he ask? - Or just assumed it was okay and called only gave you a 'heads up'? Since you're the one throwing the party in the first place, it should be your decision. And stick to it without feeling guilty. I've been having to do this alot lately since my daughter moved back to town, wanting me to stop everything I'm doing to come and babysit. She even called me several times today, beginning at 5am, just to ask... Naturally she doesn't appreciate it when I'm asleep or busy trying to get my life together, but you know what? She'll get over it! Just like your in-laws..