Gotta concur with Keith also...

Have you progressed to step 4 yet? It's such a liberating step! Well... All the steps are when you think about it. They're in the order that they're in for a reason.

When you take an inventory of yourself don't forget the good traits- we have to learn to look for those as well-it takes practise but give it a try!  Nia

Donovan -
     Gotta go with Keith - one of the parts of this 12 step thing is writing down all those bad things and putting them out in the open where they can see the light of day.  Page 83 in the Big Book says it better than anything I can write:

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Yes, you did...

Nuff said,
Dennis

Donovan: a journey focused hard on "doing" the steps in order will change a lot about how you are feeling!

Ever here the old story about what do you have when you remove drug of choice from a horse thief?

down

A claen and sober horse thief!

luv

Donovan
I have had periods of what you described.  What I was told by someone in recovery that cares for me was just this: Bored, sad, lonely people are bored sad lonely people.  So get out, active try something different step out of your comfort zone.
It did work for me after I got over my hurt ego I did sign up for a photography class and waterclouor painting class.  It was one of the best things I was told in my recovery!
There is a slogan up here Fake it til you make it....what do you think eh?
Karie  

Being in very early recovery myself I probably cannot offer much..
But what you said about only seeing the bad parts of ourselves is a feeling towards the recovery process that I can relate to.  I too want to find a healthy balance which means being aware of both the bad and the good. 

I'm in the same boat, uh, different ocean (lol).  If depression is a blackness that grows inside of us, then what am I feeding it?  If I take its food away will it die?