it has been a long time since i have been on here. some major crap has happened through that time to but also some very exciting things.
my parents are finally devorced (YAY). thats the good thing.
the thing that was extremely crapy was i started to hear voices. and they werent just things that would seem like a thought if that made sence. it was like they were right there in the room. i was terrified of the dark and i had gotten to the point where i couldnt even be alone without me making a horrible decission. i began cutting atleast 3 times a day. they would tell me i am a failure and that i will never be able to stop. then one day it started to get suicidal. they started saying that i would be drenched in my own blood, and that i would soon be theirs and just a bunch of crap. i tried commiting suicide over 6 times. but the last time it happened which was last thursday i fought it and won. this might not sound like a big deal but this urge to commit suicide was the first time where i actually wanted to. but i fought it and won. i became free from them and have actually started to enjoy life... for once
