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Posted On 07/02/2009 00:18:31 by DennisS

Howdy again everyone -

Yet another fine day out here in the high desert. I'm painting with oils a oddly disturbing picture today. Looking in the door at a group of people in a large room, all the walls lined with television sets. Each is tuned to a different channel. Some sports, others soap operas, yet more shopping channels, even a bit of nascar on over there. One with all commercials, another with porn videos. Beer commercials, drinking songs, you name it - it's in there. The disturbing part is the fixation of the people absorbed in the various events onscreen. Almost if they are held in thrall by the screen they have chose to watch and interact with -as if it is the center of their universe.

It often is, for above the door it reads Dante's "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here".

Thank God for some it's not quite so hopeless. I remember when my buddy Al Cohol was there with me in me the center of my screen in that room - right behind him. You see, before I ended up in recovery or even heard of the 12 steps, I already had a god of my own understanding. I worshipped booze. Never met a drink I didn't like.

Didn't do that today, thank God - (the one I don't have to understand, not Al). Today the God of my misunderstanding is a kind one - although it seems I can't pull the wool over His eyes like Al's. All he asks is for me to put no other before Him and love others as myself. It's taking a long time, but I'm kinda getting the hang of some of that.

I find it interesting that we here and others in recovery all recognize - or are coming to grips with the fact that the center of our universe isn't quite what we expected or originally wanted. Booze? Drugs? Money? Sex? Food? Power? Stuff? Safety? People? Nope, none of them (although they (individually or collectively) could just as easily rule my life again if I let them).

Come right down to it, there is no material thing or combination of things that will 100% stand with me when the going gets rough. In fact, all that stuff - it and they fail when we need it the most. God's another story. Even when I rejected Him, He stood by me, guided me. Seems that making Him the center of my universe is a very good thing for this drunk. Duh...

Nuff Said,

Dennis

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Viewing 1 - 7 out of 7 Comments

From: Endurancefan

07/03/2009 11:50:49

Dennis,

Thanks for blogging! It is amazing how quick I get distracted with life's trials, sort of like surfing the boob tube. I let myself get mesmerized by some show going-on and lose all my wits as I’m enthralled in the moment. Yesterday it was the V.A. I was so agitated when I returned home I forgot to display my parking pass on my car when I parked in front of the house. It was towed before I returned to get the stuff out of the back seat. The volume on the Anger Channel became deafening. What a waste of time and energy; just like sitting in front of the boob tube. If I could only learn to switch-on the Serenity Prayer channel, or the Two Great Commandments channel as you mentioned, I’d be so much better off. So would the people around me!

YFIR --john

From: Nancy

07/02/2009 20:29:03

As I read through what you had to say I was amazed at the inpact it had on me. Thank you very much for sharing! The God of our understanding always comes and finds us when we feel like we can't find Him...yet, He's always there. How wonderful to know the power that lies with in us is Him and the choiches we make are ours to own up to. He never let's us down but, we let ourself's down. What wonderful reading!

From: Godluvsall

07/02/2009 18:30:15 WOW, all I can say is AMEN. God never left me and that's a good thing for this one!

From: KeithB

07/02/2009 13:55:34 We are cenered in the same way! Good read, know a few people in that room you saw. I departed some time ago, gues many of the "others" may still be there!! Who got your old set? luv

From: byGrace

07/02/2009 10:49:47 "...Sex? Food? Power? Stuff? Safety? People?..." On the other hand, this God does give us some of these things as we learn to use, not abuse, them and treat them as they were meant to be. There is so much more that God wants for us than what we used to be satisfied with - a growing experience indeed.