I'm really pleased to hear from friends here and also pleased that you all have LIVES to go to. I suppose when you think about it that is the goal of recovery, to restore us to normality.
I'm just getting to that point. I mean first of all we are addicts and the addiction is our focus, then along comes recovery and that takes over for a while, it has to really. Then sometimes for a while helping other addicts can be a focus. But sooner or later real life calls.
I believe that is what is happening to me. I have settled down into a steady routine of recovery activities, I don't get tempted like I used to and if I do I know what to do about it. I'm learning to live in the moment and to concentrate on what is happening here and now. If I have a problem I take a deep breath and work out what I can do and what to accept.
It is hard because I am coming face to face with some of the realities which drove me into addiction and one or two of the problems caused by my addiction which at the moment have to go into the acceptance list. I am realising that I will probably always have problems in relationships because of an underlying psychological condition I have been denying.
But this is good because for the first time in my life I seem to be accepting me as I am, not trying to change and be someone else or find someone else or something else to sort me. I am admitting that there are things I find difficult and I am asking for appropriate help and support.
I'm not being complacent though, I know I am still an addict. But I can see how real life can get more inviting.
Tags: Recovery Acceptance Relationships