I'm having a really hard time today in particular. Sometimes I don't know what to do with all the garbage in my head...even the good is a nightmare for me. I feel like I'm being tortured. Like he wont go away no matter what I do to drown him out. I was fairly ok til this person started harassing me on one of my sites and it just took me right back to him again. I don't know why people have to be so hateful. I hate being triggered esp on holidays and things that really make it worse. It was such a random thing too. It was all unprovoked. I'm trying not to use today. It's taking more effort than I like. I feel just as trapped as I was then. I feel like I'll never be free to go on. I'm so tired of the fight to stay sober and alive. For what? My kids are such a mess and not much better off than I am. I feel like that butterfly that I saw trapped in a spiders web. My mom told me there was no point freeing it because the poison the spider gave it will just eat it alive....I don't know how to cope anymore. I feel like I will never be ok.
-------------------------------------------------------------- "Please could you stay awhile to share my grief..."
Sister, can I relate. These last few days I have felt the same. I guess just pray for guidance and fortitude and please don't let that person take your power and make you drink/use. If you would like to talk, I will listen. Take care.
-------------------------------------------------------------- I have multiple addictions
