NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS BIG BOOK STYLE


 
Night Before  Christmas
Big Book Style

'Twas the night before Christmas,
we were all in the club,
Enjoying a meeting, instead of a pub,
The ashtrays were clean, and the coffee was made,
The Big Books were out and
we all had prayed.

When out in the lot, there arose such a clatter,
We all jumped up to see what was the matter.

The Chair with his Big Book, and I with my smokes,
Headed outside to find these two blokes.

They came inside and sat at a table;
And said that they'd chair,
as soon as they're able.

To start with, they said, "It's more than not drinking;
It's doing your best to fix
your sick thinking."

"Think, Think, Think!" and the slogans we used,
Help keep the newcomer from getting confused.

Step 1 is a start, they said we
should know,
But after Step 2, we'll b e all aglow.

We make a decision when we
got to Step 3;
Step 4 was real tough,
we all could agree,

Step 5 is the one where
we let it all out,
And after Step 6 and 7,
We are left with no doubt.

When we got to Step 8,
we made our list;
And then with Step 9,
we have to persist.

After Step 9, the promises
ring true;
We didn't just make that up,
right out of the blue.

After that, it's on with the rest;
The things we must do, to be our best.


They put on their coats and got ready to leave;
A pretty good end, for this
Christmas Eve.

As to their names, we only could guess;
Must have been Bill W. and
Dr. Bob S.

The two men hopped into a
'35 Ford (?),
And as they pulled out,
one of them roared:

"We leave this message, for our sisters & brothers:
Trust God, clean house, and be of service to others.
And for all of you people,
I just want to say:
Have a nice holiday,
but don't drink today!"

~ Unknown


Merry Christmas!

Today I know that the light at the end of the tunnel is
an old-timer walking ahead of me with a lantern

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On Tuesday I got laid off...I was pretty upset even though I knew cutbacks were coming.  Yesterday I was called by another company who knows me from my current job, they're actually our hotel consultants...anyway they called me, and asked me if I would be interested in a position with them.  It's a better job with more pay, and it's just what I was looking for.  It's a miracle in these times to have found something so quickly, and for it to be more money and something I'm really interested in.  It felt so good for them to want me, and to make me such a good offer.  I'm excited about my future.  I just wanted to share with everybody because being sober has it's privileges!  God is sooooo working in my life today, all I have to do is trust him and everything works out better for me. 
I did notice myself or my disease I should say trying to bring me down as usual, telling me that I'm no good, I can't handle this new job, and I'm crazy to even think that I could...blah blah blah.....so I've sent the committee into exile and am keeping a positive attitude and staying very grateful for such a wonderful opportunity.  The opposite of fear is faith, so I'm going to keep on keepin on.  Much love family & happy holidays.
Alcoholic named Sunshine

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Life While-You-Wait.
Performance without rehearsal.
Body without alerations.
Head without Premeditation.

I know nothing of the role play.
I only know it's mine.  I can't exchange it.

I have to guess on the spot
just what this play's all about

Ill prepared for the priviledge of living,
I can barely keep up with the pace that the action demands.
I improvise, although I loathe improvisation.  I trip at every step over my own ignorance.  I can't conceal my hayseed manner.
My instincts are for happy histrionics.  Stage fright makes excuses for me, which humiliate me more.  Extenuating circumstances strike me as cruel.

Words and impulses you can't take back,
stars you'll never get counted, your character like a raincoat you buttom on the run?
the pitiful results of all this unexpectedness.
If only I could just rehearse on Wednesday in advance,
or repeat a single Thursday that has passed!  But here comes Friday with a script I haven't seen.  Is it fair, I ask
(my voice a little hoarse, since I couldn't even clear my throat offstage).

You'd be wrong to think that it's just a slapdash quiz
taken in makeshift accommodations.  Oh no.
I'm standing on the set and I see how strong it is.
The props are suprisingly precise.
The machine rotating the stage has been around even longer.
The farthest galaxies have been turned on.  Oh no, there's no question this must be the premiere.  And whatever I do will become forever what I've done.

~Wislawa Szymborska~

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Perpetual quietness of the heart.  It is to have no trouble.  It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me.  It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised, it is to have a blessed home in myself where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Father in secret and be at peace, as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and about is seeming troubled.
-From a plaque on Dr. Bob's desk

I got home last night from Body Songs, a kind of funky 11th step that one of my friends has at her home a couple times a month on Friday nights.  This was my 2nd one, and because of the day I had, well the week I had really, it stirred up alot of negative feelings inside of me.  The card I picked at the beginning said "awakenings" and I felt it was very appropriate for me!!  I certainly was awakened to how unhappy I was feeling about work, life, and just my overall state of mind, body & spirit.  I'm usually happy go lucky, miss positive if you will, and I try to remain as grateful as possible, because I truly am...but I couldn't deny the fact that I need to make some changes in my life, and I'm scared shitless to do it.  I know God is in control of all things, but I want a career change, want to go back to school, I'm tired of my corporate paper pushing job, and have felt that way for a long time, and yet fear stands in the way.  Fear, and not feeling that I'm worthy enough to go out and make my dreams come true.  I'm also scared in this economy to make any changes.  My husband has switched jobs 3 times in the last year, and I can't afford to loose our insurance and be out of work.  Again not trusting God....One other thing became very clear to me last night and that is that I've been stuffing my feelings down with food, TV, computer, gossip,  and any other negative behaviors so I don't have to feel..I learned early on in an alcoholic home how not to feel, trust, or make any waves, and it's still hard for me to deal with my feelings sometimes,  and really take stock on what is going on with me.  All of this stuff came over me like a huge wave of resentment, fear, envy,  and frustration, and it just blew me away. 
So...I came upon this writing on humility  that I had  in my journal last night, and wanted to share it with you all because it's so beautifully written so where I want to be right now...  Thank you for letting me share my deepest fears and thoughts with you.

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Hi Family,
Just wanted to let everybody know that my surgery went well...It was scary, painful, & exciting, and I got through it with alot of help from my friends.  It's been an amazing experience, and I'm glad I did it.  Everyday I get a little better, and was able to get on the computer today so that's cool! 
Just want to say thank you for all the love, prayers, and support.
I was scared about the pain medication, but I've been writing it down, keeping track, and managing it well...   This is just a great reminder, that you can do ANYTHING SOBER.  Another great thing is that  I've learned about receiving & accepting help from others, and not just giving it. 
Blessings to all.
xo Sunshine

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Weekly Frequency
July 30, 2008

Forget about the lazy, hazy dog days of August. The planets are shakin’ it up, which means this week and the next several weeks (okay, all of August) life here on Earth is punctuated by unexpected shifts in action, attitude, and perspective. And while a large portion of what takes place absolutely interferes with regular routines, not all of what transpires is negative. Actually, despite the general discomfort of any transition, this planetary phase offers many creative opportunities for individual and collective transformation. Be prepared for some of what takes place to rattle the deep, surfacing both surprising and familiar issues and reactions. But don’t be fooled into thinking certain situations can be handled by rote. The planets aren’t phoning it in, and neither are we.

A Solar Eclipse on Friday, August 1st at 6:21 AM EDT strikes the first unsettling chord. During a Solar Eclipse, the Moon overshadows the Sun, Dreamtime obscures Real Time, which from an astrological perspective, translates into unconscious drives overshadowing conscious concerns. In ancient times, even though eclipses were known to occur with seeming regularity, they still disturbed the domination of the brightest lights of heaven, and were believed to deliver powerful omens about the future, particularly concerning the King and his realm. And although we now understand the mechanics of an eclipse, that doesn’t necessarily mean eclipses are powerless. Quite the contrary; they still seem to disrupt or dislocate daily life. What’s more, because eclipses are thought to distort time, their effect is said to have a three-month time range on either side of the actual event. The election of the next president of the United States occurs almost exactly three months from the date of this eclipse. And interestingly (and yes, I mean that exactly as it sounds) Mars occupies the same degree in the eclipse chart that Saturn will occupy in its opposition to Uranus on November 4th. (But more about that opposition in columns to come.)

Back in present time, a Mars/Uranus opposition makes it almost impossible to distinguish the difference between the eclipse effect and the “normal” turmoil of any Mars/Uranus interaction. This opposition begins July 30th, and lasts until August 13th; it is exact on August 6th. Mars represents the Warrior. Uranus symbolizes Revolution. And when they face off, we experience extreme tension that seeks its release through a non-stop need for freedom. This interaction can be brutal, intolerant, and harsh, so please do your best to avoid mean-spirited confrontations you might later regret.

Recently I attended a lecture by the Dalai Lama. Someone in the audience asked what was the quickest most effective way to end suffering. He thought for a moment and replied, “Smile.” As we all work our ways through the coming days of upset and turmoil, something as simple and generous as a smile could help many of us to handle the intensity with greater skill.

If you know your Ascendant and/or your Moon Sign, read that too.

Aries  March 21-April l9

This eclipse insists that you find and maintain a balance between security concerns and the need to express yourself with complete abandon. So rather than constrict with anxiety, allow creativity to expand your perspective.

TaurusApril 20-May 20

The eclipse may reveal an even deeper need for recuperation and rest then you realized was necessary. Continue to give yourself permission to “make like a slug” and adopt a slower pace than you dreamed possible.

Gemini May 21-June 21

The eclipse highlights the contrast between the ordinary and extraordinary aspects of your life. As you work to find your equilibrium, keep in mind, only living in the exceptional will eventually deplete your nervous system.

Cancer June 22-July 22

This eclipse takes place in your solar house of resources, which means money is likely to be an issue, but remember, this sector also includes self-esteem. Build your abundance through authentic self-confidence.

Leo July 23-August 22

The eclipse concentrates on issues of identity, especially how to distinguish yourself from others. See it as an invitation to break away from the pack, and you’ll clarify what makes you unique.

VirgoAugust 23-September 22

This eclipses surfaces previously hidden and deeply intense feelings. As you attempt to cope with a wide range of emotions remember to be kind to yourself. Be patient with your sensitivity, and remember to take life one day at a time.

LibraSeptember 23-October 22

The eclipse underlines the question of how to share your gifts with the world. Don’t be surprised if the desire to make a difference in the world moves you into volunteering in your community.

ScorpioOctober 23-November 21

This eclipse reveals previously hidden undercurrents in your professional life, and while some of the information may be startling, it doesn’t have to throw you off track. Stay focused on your goals, and you’ll stay steady.

SagittariusNovember 22-December 21

The eclipse catalyzes a crisis of faith, which may translate into confusion about what you believe in and why. While this process may be uncomfortable, if you keep refining your questions, you’ll eventually find greater clarity.

CapricornDecember 22-January 19

The eclipse stresses money matters, but that isn’t necessarily negative. Be clear about the role money plays in your life, and you’ll gain valuable information about how to create greater prosperity.

AquariusJanuary 20-February 18

The eclipse focuses on partnerships of every persuasion, including your relationship with yourself. Pay attention to your reactions and allow them to teach you about how you relate to significant others.

PiscesFebruary 19-March 20

The eclipse concentrates its force on service, so don’t be surprised if you’re lending more than two helping hands. Allow this intensity to refine your skill in a crisis and you’ll emerge victorious.

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